Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

“How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot. The world forgetting, by the world forgot. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. Each prayer accepted, and each wish resigned.”

One of my favorite movie.

It’s so sad, isn’t it? Being forgotten by the most important person in your world and just like that,

you are not remembered.

Why would you think that you will get bored of someone that you once loved? Or are you just experiencing a post-traumatic disorder where you realize you wanted to be alone, without him/her in your life?

Have you ever ask yourself, do you really love the person? Because if you do, you must be committed in every way you can to make them happy. Yes. Sometimes it will be rough. you will encounter hardships along the way, and it will not be the fairy tale that you wanted it to be. It can be, if you work on it.

When i watched this movie for several times now, they have this recording of one another’s voices on how bad they feel going through the procedure because they want to forget each other. Clementine and Joel are both incomplete. Especially Clementine. She don’t know herself anymore. It’s like she is not the Clementine that she knew. It started when she’s with Joel. Joel’s life, as he always states, is not interesting. As Clem told Joel that her life is an open book to him, but Joel never shares any personal details to Clem. They’re not that open to one another.

Clementine is the one who did it first. The whole ‘erasing him’ thing. Joel just did the procedure because he can’t take the pain anymore. He’s confused. He must really love her to the extent that he don’t want to lose her and he kept on running away with her on his memories while he can to suppress the memory of her. While the guys who does the erasing thing is deleting Joel’s memories, he fights back. He doesn’t want it.

Sadly, he can’t. It’s already done. It’s too late.

In this case, when Joel woke up, he didn’t remember anything about Clem. Every piece of her in his apartment. Gone. Every memory, good ones and bad ones. Gone. I thought that it’s over. But fate will tell you when it is over. You will have your second chance. Just make sure that it will work for good. It’ll still be hard but as long as you’re in it together, nothing will go wrong.

If you really are meant to be, chances are, fate will bring you back together.

It came to me in the most obvious way… that love can be challenging. You thought that you’ve met the most undesirable person in the world just because he didn’t meet your standards. But did it ever occur to you that maybe you have to change something in yourself too? That maybe you’ve been this unkind person as well and you’re also thinking that you are doing just fine, but the truth is, you’re not. Sometimes we believe that we must not care what other people think just because we know we’re not doing anything wrong. That’s not how it works.

If you know that someone is hurting because of your doings, are you still going to continue the way you handle things? Well, think again. What if that person is doing the same thing to you? And deep inside you really don’t like it cause you’re hurting.

Be respectful. Be sensitive. Be mindful that your mind doesn’t fit other people’s minds. We have our own beliefs. As long as you know that you’re not stepping on to someone, then everything should be fine. That’s how you are going to be remembered.

In my part, i’m just quiet. Well, sometimes i’m not. I can be cruel. I can be rude. I can be this monster who’ll not be satisfied with what I already know. I’m like a detective. I know what you are doing and what’s going to happen after you did it.

Every event are unpredictable.

Inevitable.

[Reblogged from March 31, 2015]

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Home Late

I’m not in the mood to tell you everything on what happened right now. And it’s a disaster.

I’ve been waiting for a ride for an hour and 15mins. That’s how long it took for me to go have my ride. I thought before 11.30pm that I’ll be home, but no… It’s already 12.24am. The driver picked me up at 12.15am.

It’s devastating. If only I can walk from the office to our house. The sad thing is it’s too far.

All the anger. Everything that I can feel today is really raging. I’m about to cry because of anger. It’s kindda hard to contain it.

Grr.

Drei

This is our endearment. I mean with my bestfriend, Ana.

I never thought that we will be this close. We’ve been together since 2005 or 2006. 2nd year Highschool. Then we were classmates again on 2007 and ended the year of 2008. Highschool graduation.

We had these so-called letters that we exchanged through-out those years. We are somewhat engaged with other people because we have our own group at that time. We had our own fights and we did succeed on making up and understand each other.

Sadly, she took B.S. in Tourism and I took B.S. in Network Administration in College.

We were not really that close at the time but we manage to have communication, I believe through texting, then we are still using Friendster that was popular on those days. Which happens to be changed into Facebook and it is more convenient.

If ever that me and my classmates passed by the culinary rooms, it smells amazing. She actually was one of the students cooking there and she always ask me to buy from their small store in the corridor. Haha. Can’t remember if I bought anything. Maybe or maybe not. 😀

When I came home from Macau way back 2011, we just suddenly communicated and went to this call center which is our very first BPO company. We just direct calls and no stress is involved. We can easily do the job without looking at the monitor for the transfer codes. We were fed up with the job because that’s the only thing we do. We applied on a different company and we were still able to be together, but at the latter part, we were on different teams and she left the company after 2 years but I continued for 4.

We were still communicating and have our out of towns. Honestly we always have this one time, big time outings. Haha. Year per year. We see each other or sometimes I hang out on their condo and drink tequila! Oh, yeah! (Not gonna do it again! Haha)

Then we are now on this awesome company and we’re together. Again. Haha. It’s funny to realize that I can summarize everything that we have accomplished so far but just like what I said, it’s summarized.

We have gone through a lot. As in, big time. It’s a lot. And we recovered. We are always recovering. Yes, we have our ups and downs and we are cool with it. There are some parts that I don’t understand her at all but it’s a good thing to wait for her explanation for her actions. I do not ask her to tell it to me the things that are inevitable but it will naturally appear on one of our conversations ( Especially if we’re drunk! :D). It’s healthy that way.

I don’t want to judge her with everything that’s happening along the way. She had her problems and I know it all. She had her reasons and I now understand why she is doing it. To be honest, I’m skeptical and I’m not a perfect person, so what I do is, I’m not gonna investigate about it. I will let her tell me what it is. It is a good thing actually.

I’m not gonna force her about things that she is not ready to tell me.

All I have to do is wait.

For 13 years of friendship… for all the trouble, this is worth it.

Searching for the Right Blog Post

I’ve been thinking about blog posts that I would like to put in here. Some hobbies of mine that I want to work on.

We are moving to a different place and YAY! I’m gonna have my own room. Well, I’m already 26 but we do have this small online business that I’m partnering with my lil sister, so I might stick around a little bit with them.

It’s also kind of hard letting go of things that I’m used to see everyday. I’m proud to be with my mom and I’m not ashamed of that. I still want to be with her. And since my dad passed away a year ago, things changed but in that case, we will still be moving forward.

After we move in, which is about 2 weeks from now, and I’m excited, I’ll try to figure out if I’ll do baking or reading, or cooking, painting or drawing on my free time. I’d like to put Art on everything I do. It sort of show off what or who I am as a person and you’ll see my personality as we go along. I would like to know you as well fellow bloggers.

I’m still in training on my new job, and I hope I will pass this because it’s something that I know I will love. Instead of taking calls before and I totally suck. I really dont like it.

Anyway, I’ll practice on taking pictures and I’ll share you the mural that I came across right beside our office building. It’s quite nice and I hope I’ll be able to take another picture of a different mural around the area.

Till then!

Teal

This is a combination of medium blue-green color. We can also add yellow to it if you would like it to be brighter.

You may also watch it from this YT page.

https://youtu.be/Teal Acrylic Combination

Well, if you really know me, I really like the color Green. It’s vibrant, pleasing to the eyes, fresh…. and it’s nature.

But you know what, it’s time for a change. I I’m not fond of the color green anymore, it changes into Teal.

My mom said, “Finally, you’re awaken!”

Hahaha. Not too sure why I laughed with the humor but yeah, I did realize, it’s time to change it.

I don’t know what happened but I thought to myself that I don’t like it anymore. Maybe because I was too much back then. With all the green stuff. They also told me that my mind is also green. Much greener than the fields in Spring and Summer.

Everywhere I go, If there’s green, I want to have it. I will compliment it. I will try to get it from you if you have something green that I can use. Haha.

It’s 2018. It’s a great year to have changes. It sortta bringing out being a new you. Everyday is suppose to be a new day. Represent yourself as you are.

Hurray for Teal!

Alone. Songs in my head.

songs in my head

Oh, yeah!

‘Till now I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone

How do I get you alone

I feel like singing the song, Alone by Celine Dion. Haha.

No. I’m really alone in the office. What I meant was, my workmates doesn’t have a shift today so I’m the only one who’s present right now. There are people who works other than me but they’re on a different team. I feel like I’m really alone. No support available. They’re far away from me.

That I love you
I’ve loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you’ll be with me
And you’ll never go
Stop breathing if I don’t see you anymore

by Nickelback

Songs in my head. Whew.

It’s already 3 in the morning. This is the time that I wanna watch The Walking Dead. I know that the mid season will continue and I’m really excited for their comeback. The Neagan thing is out of this world.

Princess Jasmine: A whole new world
Aladdin: (Don’t you dare close your eyes)
Princess Jasmine: A hundred thousand things to see
Aladdin: (Hold your breath, it gets better)

by Aladdin and Jasmine

Haha. I don’t have anything to do right now. I’m kindda sleepy and I wanna go home. My stomach hurts and I think ate a lot of ice cream. Strawberry with cookies and cream then Double Dutch. AAww!

It’s now January 16, 2018 and this post is way back 2017. Hahaha. I have so many posts that I didn’t manage to post. Bad me. Haha. Anyway. I’ll start with this one!

Year 2018

Nope. If you’re thinking that I’m gonna tell you about my new year’s resolution, you’re wrong.

People tend to list down their new years resolution but do they actually do it? Would you say that you’ll just exercise the next morning because you have eaten alot during the holidays?

Well, if you really wanted to see the change, start it now. Not tomorrow, but right now. You won’t go anywhere else not unless you started something and determined that you’ll finish it.

I really wanted to change but for all these years, it’s never done. We can start the process in the middle of the year or sometimes in the beginning if you can. What matter’s most is, you do it. No excuses.

This year, 2018… I don’t know what will happen. I have a new job again and this time, I hoped that this is what I really need for me to function well. I don’t want to screw anything up. I’m worried.

Anyway, moving forward, it’s supposed to be just a normal day. A new beginning because it’s a new year.

I wish Papa is able to see this. We miss him.

Well, HAPPY NEW YEAR fellow bloggers and to everyone!