The Letter

Emily and Chris

Staring at the window, Emily noticed the letter in her pocket. She doesn’t want to open and read it again. Until she saw Chris, outside the school gate, walking without a care in the world. “It felt like it was only yesterday”, Emily whispered to herself.

[Having a *FLASHBACK*]

Chris and I were very close to each other, we were classmates, always teasing one another, it’s as if we can’t be separated.

Months have passed my heart’s pounding and it’s very beat makes me weak, it’s like I’m gonna explode or something. I didn’t know what to do, that I decided to tell my closest friends all about it. I asked for some advice but when I’m around him, it’s getting a little tense. Until the time comes that I don’t approach him anymore. I don’t want to risk our friendship at the same time, I don’t wanna lose him.

Then day, he gave me a letter. I became nervous to read it, but tried to have a neutral reaction about it. I gave him a response, and then we personally talked about, why are we like this, why are we like that. And in some way, we were close again, as if nothing happened. But, there’s always a tension between us, that I can’t really explain.

Then one day, he texted me, saying, he loves me. At first I didn’t believe it, it’s a shock. He texted me again, saying, it’s all true. We texted that night then later on said goodbyes.

In the morning, we’re gonna meet at the school front gate, everything’s pretty awkward, while I’m remembering what’s my response to him that night. I said I love him back. From time to time, we were like a couple, but we’re not. It’s kindda cool for me, so we can have some more time together, getting to know More about each other. What More could I know. =D

But things got messy and we have complications. Then sometimes we barely notice each other anymore. It really confuses me. As time goes by, we are like strangers again. It hurts me a lot, because I thought we have something good going on, but maybe I was wrong.

A year passed, little by little I’m used to not talking to him anymore. I just want to let him go. Move on. It’s not easy but I have to. That’s life.

[*Present*]

If, were not meant to be, it’s time for me to wake up and realize everything that I’ve missed. As I stood by the window, I just smiled, grab my bag then move forward.

Kept that letter as a memory.

A short story by yours truly. =)

Image result for the letter

 

[Reblogged from September 9, 2012]

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Lovely Bones

Lovely Bones

She died. Yes… that’s the intro of that movie.

Her name is Salmon, like the fish.

First name is Susie. Age fourteen.

Was murdered December 6, 1973.

This movie really felt like I was there. I can actually relate to the story.

There are some things that you won’t understand unless you let it be and make it pass you by.

A year ago, I didn’t quite understand why I’ve felt so lonely. The unity of friendship is lost. We’re like branches in a big tree. We’re all together but we can’t see each other’s point of view. Up there we have a different sense of communicating with each other… but somehow… I got stuck in the middle. The soil that kept the tree alive just came loose and we didn’t get a hold of each other but rather thought of the things that might be best for us. But that doesn’t mean that every decision is right… and the question is… what’s the relevance of making any decision that you think it’s right? A person who have a wide capacity of thinking things through will not ignore the obvious and will care about things that matters most.

I thought I gave up a long time ago… and i didn’t. I hold on to the branches that I know they’re worth hanging out with. Nothing really leaves my mind, especially about the past.

That’s why when I’ve watched the ‘Lovely Bones’ … it made me realize what I’m missing. I’m missing myself. My old self.

People somewhere or somehow… they move on. It’s a part of life that we need to take. There won’t be anything in this world that we cannot do. Everything is controllable. You just need to focus.

Susie accepted the path that she needs to take. It’s not that she doesn’t have a choice but it’s the truth that we must understand. Letting go can change you. It can change anybody. Your soul will be free and you don’t have any worries anymore.

ai’m now relieved. Everything is alright now. I guess it is time for us to see that we can never go back to the days we wished  that’s supposed to happen but that’s how I look at it. It’s not the same as before but we found peace in our hearts.

I’m glad to feel this kind of happiness.

Susie gave a huge impact in my heart.

A good example of showing everyone about the 5 Stages of Loss.

The greatest  moment that I’ve seen is the time that she have took the road where her soul will never hold a grudge for someone who killed her. Too late to blame that person.

They said that this movie is depressing. Yes, I was depressed about it too and some other kind of feelings:

fear.

acceptance.

pain.

love.

curiosity.

 

Lovely Bones.

Susie Salmon

Susie Salmon

 

Here’s the trailer:

If there’s a will, there’s a way

Everybody says, if there’s a will, there will always be a way.

Oh yeah, well, that’s true. I know it’s not applicable to any situation because we have our own reasons and it really depends on how you look at it, if it’s possible or not.

In my case, I always look for a better way to lighten up my day. I don’t want to frown just because of a broken plan. I will find a way to make the plan work.

So my story is about a Girl who’s planning to learn more about html codes. She learned the basics a long time ago, while she’s still studying, and then at present she’s still at it. It was never too late to learn.

Back in her college days, their professor made them create a Periodic Table and practice it ‘cause it’s their midterm exam/finals? Not exactly sure, well anyway, there they were, focused on the said assignment. And she’s very excited. Then when the exam came, she rushed to the computer then without any hustle she finished the Periodic Table before the time is up. She practiced the html codes on their computer with a Windows 98 OS, almost every day, to make it perfect. The effort really paid off. She even made a questionnaire, all by herself. It’s nothing really, but it’s great to build something out of your own hands right? =)

the Periodic Table using Win98 OS

Time’s passed and now she has a job, but still she didn’t want to stop reading stuff and writing something ridiculously interesting on her blog.

One time, she sits still in front of her laptop wondering, “What if I encode html codes again?” then the idea came flowing down inside her head, a light bulb came out of nowhere, then poof it became coco crunch. LoL.

One day, she started searching for codes. A lot of them they are. She started practicing. She even got the idea of copying the codes on the periodic table that she made 2 years ago. The computer is now residing under the stairs with dusts and cobwebs. She cleaned it then hopefully would be able to boot it.

When they rearranged some furniture around the house, the cables for the computer was hard to find. She looked for it, “I must find it, I’ll not stop”

Blessing came, she found it. Plugged the computer up, hoping it would still function. The PC booted. “I missed the Windows 98 UI.”, she laughs at herself.

She then found the file that she had made, the dilemma came uprising through her face. She can’t copy it with the laptop because the win98 comp is in Japanese(though we can understand it a bit, thanks for the help of the icons) and the pc’s not accepting any usb’s, it only has the diskette drive. And the thing is, they don’t have an adapter. They only have one for both computers. She got a pen and a paper then started jotting down the codes.

Her mother came by, then told her, “Why can’t you just get your camera and take a picture of it, so it would save you time and energy?”

She laughed so hard and can’t even imagine why. She didn’t remember her newly bought cam. “If there’s a will, there’s a way!, I went to a lot of trouble just to have these basic html codes on this Win98 based Japanese Computer…”

After everything else, she’s now ready to hassle. Booted the laptop, and there she went.

No matter how you look at it. Life has its own meaning on how to get things done.

Never give up on a tiny little thing, hence how would you know how to handle a situation when the time comes that much bigger things will go your way?

Nothing’s impossible, only if it’s improbable.

To me, Small Things really matters. Bigger things are a different story.

By the way, I’m the GIRL. =)

 

[Reblogged from August 7, 2012]

The Imaginarium of Emily : The Johnny Depp Project

I’m ready!

I’m a fan of Mr. Stench a.k.a. John Christopher Depp III a.k.a. JOHNNY DEPP.

I have been day dreaming about Johnny almost everyday, thinking that one day, I’m gonna finally meet him.

*Drumrolls*

*serene music*

One time, when I was cutting Johnny Depp’s Picture out of a magazine, a strange vision came out before my eyes.

A vivid imagination came straight right through me, as if I’m in another world.

As I realized it, I’m like in a dream. I don’t wanna wake up but, we can’t fight reality, well anyway, that’s how it is.

Going back, I saw myself, hiding behind the bushes with a telescope on one hand, then a Jellyfish net(Spongebobs’) on the other and a binocular that hanged around my neck.

I became a stalker. Golly Me. From a distance, there he was, just like Edward Cullen in the movie Twilight, his skin is glimmering from the sun’s rays, his devious but innocent eyes sparkling, his hair has it’s own critical way of falling in front of his forehead, and a glance that is very hard to ignore, his movement. =D

Little did I knew, I had a shotgun hanging on my back as if I’m gonna go hunt some deers or something.

Am I going to kill him? or just simply stalk him? hahahaha… hard to know, but I’m eager to find out.

But I will stay far away from him, so here I am.

He’s at an Italian restaurant, alone, drinking a fresh white wine on his right hand, listening to music, while doing something with his Laptop. I hope he’s twittering me. =D

Me singing : ” Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy ….. but here’s my number….. so call me, maybe?”

hahahahaha… what a nice way to have a big laugh *giggle*

I’m still at my post, looking through my binos, waiting there for every motion that I see.

Oh, gosh… How I wish I could be there beside him, with a guitar while singing *Pangarap lang kita*. I’m gonna translate it to english so he would understand. =)

Then a girl came, greeted him, I’m ready to pull the trigger of my shotgun but anyway, It’s just a “Hello”.

And when I thought about it, my cover will be compromised so I musn’t. Kindda Morbid eih? hahaha. just kidding.

I got hungry so I laid a blanket near the tree of wisdom(I hope the Zombies will not attack while I’m eating. Hope not (“,))

I laid the mushroom soup, next to my plate. Some Garlic seasoned bread on a wooden basket, near a whole baked chicken. I must not forget, the PIZZA. Yahoo. I ate and I’m so full that nearly can’t breathe. LoL. And lots of Water. Almost 3 liters. Whoa. What a snack(oh yeah, you read it right, It’s just Snack time) *evil laugh*

Johnny’s been sitting there for almost two hours.

I decided. “It’s time”.

I lose my telescope laid it on the ground. I took off my binos, then I got rid of my Bazooka. Wait a sec, this is a Shotgun a while ago?

Oh well, That’s how my imagination works. LoL.

I wore my Johnny Depp Shirt. Said to myself, “I’m Ready”.

As I was walking towards him, I felt goosebumps running through my spine. Nervousness and Excitement.

Can’t take my eyes off of Dear Johnny. A wind blows through him, then it passed me, and oh gracious, I like his scent, his cologne.

He, then, noticed me standing in front of him. If it wasn’t for that table between us, I can have him already.

I crooked a gentle smile, looking at him with such ease and with a joyful heart. “At last, I’ve done it”.

He just stared, looking at me, confused but intrigued.

My smile disappeared.

I was about to leave…. then I heard my name.

“Emily”

I spun so suddenly that I didn’t even have time to react.

From a Hug.

of a friend … (awww… Expectaions will try to, really, really hurt you…)

I don’t know what to do, or say.

I glanced at my friends back, then Johnny’s not there anymore.

My world vanishes. It turned to dust.

And me?

Without anything to admit, without anything to see. I just stood there.

Waved goodbye to my friend. But I still stood there. In front of the table where Johnny sitted for almost 2 hours, drinking nothing but White Wine. Cold left it, but the warm of his hand stayed.

Just a blink of an eye, I was back to where it began.

Cutting his picture out of the mag.

“What an awful story. Disappointed?”, he murmurs.

“Yeah, but you know Johnny, you were much charming in reality than in my dreams”, I answered.

“Aww, C’mon you!”, Johnny dazzled, then gave me an incredible Hug that I could ever dreamed it would be.

Y’know what, we never know when our own imagination would stop. Then Don’t think about the ending.

Keep Believing.

Just Keep Dreaming.

=)

Happy Reading (“,)

 

[Reblogged from October 14, 2012]

A View of Ones Passenger …

Hello.

I took this picture on Nov. 16, 2012. Right before my Birthday. =)

I don’t know why or how this idea occurred to me, but every time I take a ride from a Jeepney(Philippine Vehicle and for a public transportation),  I always look at the driver. I didn’t mean anything about it, I’m just wondering how it be like a Jeepney driver. Every now and then, I always sit next to the driver and I realize how it be like to be driving all day long, including the weather’s mood. Sometimes it would be extremely hot. Sometimes it would be cold. But no matter what the weather is, there will be an available jeepney on the road.

Just like a Cab driver. But they are in an aircon vehicle so maybe they have the advantage of having a comfortable place. But anyway, people will somehow manage to hit the road to earn some extra cash just to survive. I often see the family of the driver, sitting next to him. They are capable of living this way, and I appreciate these people. Because even though they’re having such a hard time, their will to live is their strength. They’re giving convenience to people who’ll go to a place to visit another.

There’s an instance that they will crowd their ride with 20 passengers. So many right? People comes in different sizes and we assume that all of them can get a comfortable seat once they’re there. Then there would be a time that a guy would not adjust for the the girl. That’s what annoys me the most. Well, can’t change human nature. Anyway, it’s none of my concern in the first place. In my way, I always prioritize people which have reached aged and also for ladies and young ones. It makes my heart grow fonder and it’s a blessing to help other people in the simplest way.

I don’t notice people around me but I’m aware who’s the next person sitting beside me. Some of the time, there would be a cute baby boy that will smile at me, and I was like, smiling back at him. cute. =)

There’s every joy within everyone’s reach. We just have to treasure it.

It seems that in a short period of time we don’t usually see the little things in life. I had so many questions and yet it’s hard to look for the answer. I need to look around a bit. More to explore.

I became curious for the jeepney’s and yet that’s one of the Filipinos culture. We are the only one who have them. They have mostly cabs and vans on some other countries.

And I, as the writer of this blog wants to experience how to drive. Out of curiosity, I want to be a jeepney driver for a day. Even though I don’t have a single idea how to drive, still, I want to. I know the hardship will be present at a time like that, so I want to see if I’m capable of doing it. There’s no fun if we limit ourselves, just make sure that it’s right. If it’s wrong… just assume that it is right. Haha. Kidding.

I must say that Filipino drivers tend to be good at math. Do you know why? well, the passengers will give the driver their fare, then while he’s driving, he’ll give the change of every passenger there. He also knows how to multi-task, right? =)

If you want something done, you’ll make a way to make it done.

My favorite spot would be next to the window where I’m near the driver’s seat. It’s more quiet and convenient for me so I could get off of it fast and easy.

So I welcome you to driving! =D

I’m sorry for my grammar, I’ll just correct it some other time, It’s kindda late and I have an afternoon shift and I’m also kind of sleepy, so, till we meet again!

[Reblogged and Edited from November 23, 2012]

What I realized.

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1. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER ASSUME

– First of , let me ask you this. Have you ever felt like you know it then you assumed that your hunch is right? Everyone does that. It’s not a crime to do that but as you can see, there are things that you can’t handle if you’re caught in the middle.

I’m kind of like that person… I’m so close to my friends and even to my love one that i assumed i really know them by heart… and the sad part is, I was wrong. now, i can’t stand the fact that I’ve been controlling myself for months now, just to really consider on what they truly feel. I’m not myself lately and it’s because I’m thinking of them. I don’t want to completely let them go away out of my grasp but I have a feeling that they are… they’re getting away from me.

2. NEVER EXPECT/SET EXPECTATIONS

– For one thing that I’ve been doing right now that i want to be aware of everyday is to never expect anything in return. If you’re doing the best that you can for a friend or a love one, just do it because you want to, and not because it’s just an obligation that you need to fulfill. If you’re gonna expect for something, sometimes it hurts if you’ll expect something in return. If it’s a good deed, Leave it be. Karma is not for negative things only.

– Needs to set expectations. It will help you in the future. People will come to you and say.. “Thanks for the reminder”  or “It’s good that I’ve expected this to happen and it really hurts, but at least not that much because I’m aware of it.”

Things like that is what we should bare in mind. We can never be numb… unless you’re not a person from planet Earth. By the way, I’m from Pluto. (^-^)

3. NEVER DEMAND

– Remember #1? I’m a demanding person. (Is this the right way to put it in a sentence?) Anyway, I’ve been seeing it clearly especially in this kind of category, I’m a kind of friend that’s not gonna ask if you’re free on this/that day(but sometimes I’m doing it), I’ll just tell you right away that we’ve got something to do. it’s not on a form of question but it’s on a form where all you can say is, “you planned this without getting my approval first if i wanted to go or not?”. i’m not waiting for you to say that but you’d rather go with me than saying this. LoL.

but, lately, i’ve noticed… i’m not doing this kind of thing anymore. i rarely ask my friends if they wanted to have lunch together, or maybe go to the movies… i don’t know why. is it because someone alarmed me that i need to set them free? they have their own lives and i’m pushing them on what i really wanted. maybe i’m just not able to ask them what they really wanted. maybe that’s really it. and maybe that’s also the reason why i’m alone right now. afraid of their rejection.

4. DON’T HURT THE ONE WHO REALLY LOVES YOU, IN RETURN, JUST LOVE HIM BACK

– my boyfriend has a really strong will power. i don’t know where he gets it but it also made me stronger. he never demanded anything… even though i’ve done a thing to him that’s really unforgivable but still he believes in me. he believed me. i noticed that after that year, i’ve changed. i appreciated him for staying and for being loyal and honest to me. i don’t know how to repay him. and i know that all he really wanted is for me to stay. by his side. just to love him more. i never thought that i’m going to have this kind of feeling over a guy… so much. he accepted me. again. i love him so much.

5. IF THERE’S  A WILL, THERE’S A WAY

– there were times that i didn’t have the courage to go further. just like my situation at our office. i’m weak. i’m always saying that i don’t want to do it anymore… that i’m too slow to catch on. but there are some cases that sometimes a scenario will make me dedicated to what i’ve done so far. i know  still can do it… but i’m scared to even go on my own. brave is the adjective that i’ve come up with during our training for a call center agent position. and i’m still wondering where’s my will to fight for that title?

6. NO MAKING EXCUSES FOR MAKING A DECISION

– every one of us has a different story to tell. it’ s either good or bad it’s still their story or yours. you can’t make up for the lost times but you can still have a good memories with them right now… moving forward to what you can do with/for your love ones. if something goes wrong, they can forgive you but they can’t seriously forget that. make sure that you’ll take full responsibility of your actions. it’s still you who’s making your own destiny. still your decision,

7. IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING, SET IT FREE

– i’ve loved all the ones that’s dearest to me. i’ve set them free. they can do whatever they want. i’m not going to interfere on any decisions that they have chosen. it’s their life. they’re the director of their own life story. i’ve meddled with their life for so long and i’ve had enough. it’s not right… but sometimes you just want what’s good for them… and it’s gotta stop. they’re not kids anymore and if they have to face the challenges that they have to conquer, all you can do is to support them so they’ll do the best that they can to get the job done. that’s why you’re their friend. you’re there to make sure that they have a friend who they can lean on to, who they can hug and who they can cry with. that’s your role. they’ll be free. you have set them free…

8. HATE THE WORD “PROMISE”

– many of you knows that if you made a promise you must keep it… but base on my experiences, i really am not fond of that word. and as you can see if you got along with me, you’re not able to hear it from me. i’d rather say the word, “i swear”.

it’s not that people are breaking promises all the time but it’s alright to if i don’t believe on that stuff. because if you’re really a friend, you’ll do whatever it takes to keep your word, with or without promises.

9. ENJOY LIFE AS IT SHOULD BE

– when i finished the book, The Fault in our Stars by John Green… it made me wonder how life could be different. it made me realized hat i’m blessed to be alive and healthy. happiness is a choice, right? and i know deep down that i really want to be happy. despite of the hardship that i’m encountering now, no one should be able to make me regret what i just did. somehow i’m greatful that i’m still alive. you can never know what you can really do unless you’ve tried your best. not just best… but all your BEST.

10. LIVE LIKE YOU’RE DYING

– i love watching movies so i’ve picked this message on the movie, “The Bucket List”. two people who’s going nuts over a list of things that they must do before they die because of cancer. it’s a brave thing to do actually. they didn’t give up until the very end. and the best part that i’ve seen there is… they’ve witnessed a miracle.

do what you wanted to do… not tomorrow, not the next day, but today. it’s not that something bad is gonna happen, but it would best if you’re going to do it NOW. the thing that you can do today, is going to be your treasure tomorrow. believe me. tried and tested.

11. BE SECRETIVE/DON’t LET SOMEONE FIGURE YOU OUT EASILY

– privacy is very, very, very, very important. don’t broadcast to the world who you really are. let them explore your life and let them be a part of your life as well. it’s not gonna hurt you, but in some instances make sure that you’re not giving everything away. you have you’r own mind, heart, body and soul. they must respect your well-being and they understand that you have something more important to dig in within yourself without anyone’s help. no one can really help you but you.

that’s one of the things how people can respect you. having self-respect.

– let them feel that you’re not giving away your thoughts to anyone. it’s good to know that you can control yourself on giving out unnecessary information to people who’s not involved with the situation and if they were, don’t mind about it too. just keep your mouth shut and just keep it to yourself.

12. DON’T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE TWICE

– this mistake is the kind of mistake that is not forgivable. whether you it or not, if you did something wrong, you’re dead for sure. nah, just joking. it actually not depends on you. it also depends on people who believes you… or on how they reacted about the situation. it’s not your fault that they can’t understand what you did. because believe me or not, if they’re on your shoes right now, they’ll have a hard time explaining it to you too. nothing’s fair. it never was. and we’re only human. all of us have done mistakes. no one is an exception.

13. DON’T BE CLINGY

– the whole point of it all. i’ve learned so many things and yet this is the part where i can rest for a bit then move on.

i’m a bit too clingy myself. some say, i can’t depend on anyone but myself and that’s a pretty good point. and i don’t want to annoy people too much because no matter where they do, i wanna know everything and i want to do it with them, and that’s not good.

i need to be sensitive enough to understand that i don’t need to be there with them all the time. that’s why a freind told me, i should have a ‘me’ time.

 

for now i need to organize everything according to plan. i don’t really have a plan, but i’m planning to have aplan. doesn’t makesense, does it? LoL.

these are not all the things that i’ve learned and there are some more that i can think of but right now, these are the things that i need to focus on. and my priority will come higher and higher until i can reach them no more.

 

good luck to me.

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[Reblogged and Edited from July 20, 2013]

Searching for the Right Blog Post

I’ve been thinking about blog posts that I would like to put in here. Some hobbies of mine that I want to work on.

We are moving to a different place and YAY! I’m gonna have my own room. Well, I’m already 26 but we do have this small online business that I’m partnering with my lil sister, so I might stick around a little bit with them.

It’s also kind of hard letting go of things that I’m used to see everyday. I’m proud to be with my mom and I’m not ashamed of that. I still want to be with her. And since my dad passed away a year ago, things changed but in that case, we will still be moving forward.

After we move in, which is about 2 weeks from now, and I’m excited, I’ll try to figure out if I’ll do baking or reading, or cooking, painting or drawing on my free time. I’d like to put Art on everything I do. It sort of show off what or who I am as a person and you’ll see my personality as we go along. I would like to know you as well fellow bloggers.

I’m still in training on my new job, and I hope I will pass this because it’s something that I know I will love. Instead of taking calls before and I totally suck. I really dont like it.

Anyway, I’ll practice on taking pictures and I’ll share you the mural that I came across right beside our office building. It’s quite nice and I hope I’ll be able to take another picture of a different mural around the area.

Till then!