Posted in Lullaby

Alone. Songs in my head.

‘Till now I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone

How do I get you alone

I feel like singing the song, Alone by Celine Dion. Haha.

No. I’m really alone in the office. What I meant was, my workmates doesn’t have a shift today so I’m the only one who’s present right now. There are people who works other than me but they’re on a different team. I feel like I’m really alone. No support available. They’re far away from me.

That I love you
I’ve loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you’ll be with me
And you’ll never go
Stop breathing if I don’t see you anymore

by Nickelback
Songs in my head. Whew.
It’s already 6 in the morning. This is the time that I wanna watch The Walking Dead. I know that it’s Season 7 will continue and I’m really excited for their comeback. The Neagan thing is out of this world.
Princess Jasmine: A whole new world
Aladdin: (Don’t you dare close your eyes)
Princess Jasmine: A hundred thousand things to see
Aladdin: (Hold your breath, it gets better)

by Aladdin and Jasmine
Haha. I don’t have anything to do right now. I’m kindda sleepy and I wanna go home. My stomach hurts and I think ate a lot of ice cream. Strawberry with cookies and cream then Double Dutch. AAww!
This is crazy
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Posted in Odd Thinking

Not Good Enough…

I’m really just a normal girl.

I want normal things. Normal life. Everything. And I know it’s not gonna happen. Any person in this planet have differences. We are not normal. What’s normal anyway?

Or maybe the term is Average. Who knows what normal really means? Cause we would feel like it’s just things. Not the ones that we usually do.

I would like to celebrate to celebrate anniversaries, have surprises, travel in different places, so it’s normal cause I’m a girl? What if I’m a guy? would it still be normal? I think it depends on who you really are. It would be normal if it’s you.

The thing is, no one really knows why some people would like to be anybody else. In fact, it’s way cooler if you have your own identity. If you have your own signature. If you have your own title. Cause that’s you. Everybody knows that, that’s you and they will remember you completely.

You know why? Cause you’re not trying to be normal and you’re really not. You’re being YOU.

It’s okay to be different. It’s okay to let yourself out there and do your thing. No one would mind, no one should. Well in this case, just don’t go crazy if you need to be.

Place yourself on the right moment then everything will be good.

To me, something is quite out of it’s place. I always encourage others that they can do it. Just be yourself. Don’t underestimate your skills, your knowledge, your potential. Someone out there wants to have the things that you have. Just be grateful.

I can’t apply those things to myself. I’m now kind of depressed and I don’t know if I still want to continue living. There are times that I’m so down, I’m planning my own death. I know that it’s not good. I know that I can be better than this. But, how?

I always cry when I’m alone, or even right after I came home from work. I’ve said this before on my other post that I hate what I’m doing right now. I hate my job. I can’t do anything about it cause I know that the offer here is much more higher than other centers. I also went to my friends email support work and I’m already interviewed, but I was thinking, that the benefits is not as good as what this company is giving me. I just don’t want to take in calls anymore. I’m really sick of it. But this is the only job that I can do.

I wanted to pursue my course which is for Hotel Restaurant Services but I’m not good at it either. What am I good at? I’m not talented. I’m not really good at anything. That’s why I’m trying to be… normal? or yes, different. Because I know I am… but what am I suppose to provide? What’s my purpose? What’s my goal?

My boyfriend told me that I need to have determination. Someone told me that skills can be trained but attitude can’t be taught. And maybe that’s the reason why I’m not doing good is because of my attitude. I’m not helping myself. I’m trying to destroy it. No one can help me, but me. I’m drowning.

I’m still hoping that something will change. There’s still hope.

There should be.

Posted in Odd Thinking

An Unfortunate Event

I never wanted to talk about it anymore but, we trusted someone we shouldn’t trust. Somehow, he’s able to build the trust from several people and that’s us. Thus, I just wanted to let it out of my chest.

We knew he needs something. For his family. especially for his child. He borrowed money from us. He told us that there’s a job waiting for us. It’s a non-voice account. an email account. I was excited. We were. The job offer is kindda high and he informed us that he and the manager of tat account already arranged everything and we’re just down to the final and client interview.

Yeah, it’s too good to be true but we wanted to still try to see if it’s really true. I had my hopes up. Everybody did.

It’s just that, every time that we are near the call time, something will come up and he’ll come up with an excuse.

There’s an issue the communication at that time because we’re just text messaging each other. It’s a hell of a mess. A large one. We didn’t anticipated that someone would trick us. We wasted our time and he and the so-called manager who spelled the word Cab into ‘Cub’… now that’s suspicious. Not only that word but that so-called manager is not able to compose good sentences.

I’m not saying that I’m good at it, but it’s really obvious that professionalism is not observed on that person. They’re telling us that his child is in the hospital and the thing is, I showed up in that hospital but they made an excuse that they’re not there anymore or because he is too weak for me to let me see him in that sad situation.

We found out that they’re tricking us or he’s tricking us because of a simple take away. He texted us using the so-called managers number. Wrong send.

And we are stunned. Because we’re having some discussions that maybe he and the manager is only one person so that we’ll expect that there’s really a manager who’re we’re going to talk to on that company.

We are all pissed off. Mad. I don’t know who’s to blame.

Him, because he managed to make a huge scheme…

or Us, because we even believed it which is too good to be true…

I hate it. I hate that day.

This is the reason why I have trust issues. Sometimes you want to do something right… but there are some things that won’t go your way. Sometimes, people will try to do something different.

I believe in Karma. it will strike him, 100x.

I hope so.

Posted in Some Odd Thinking

It’s been long since…

… I’ve posted. 

I’ve been busy. And hey, it’s still February, so Happy Valentines. Even though it’s late. 

I don’t know what to say. I hope that everyone enjoyed the love in the air for this month and for every month. 

That’s all. 

Happy hearts. 

Posted in Health and Wealth

30 Day Fitness Challenge: Day 9

Easy Plan 1. 

No good improvements yet but I think it’s getting there. I just ate a 4 cheese pizza, potato wedges and shrimp pasta yesterday. Tsk. This is bad. I need to control myself. This is my struggle. 

I’m now going to work again for later. 

We didn’t go to my father’s grave even though it’s his birthday. I kept on thinking, is he really there? He’s in our hearts now. In our memories. I don’t wanna remember him weak. He’s a strong man. I know he’s guiding us. 

I know he also wants me to take care of my health. Of our health. I’m also dedicating this to him and to myself. I want him to know that I won’t let him down. 

Sweetdreams. 

always the Odd one,

Bronte

Posted in Health and Wealth

30 Day Fitness Challenge: Day 6,7 & 8

Easy Plan 1.

3-in-1 as we call it.

As you can see, I’m not able to post for the past 2 days and I’m now going to post for today┬ábecause it’s the rest day. It’s good timing cause we need to visit our father’s grave. It’s his birthday today.

I’ll be absent for later’s shift for work. I have an important appointment that I need to attend to.

It’s going to be our anniversary in Feb 14. Haha. Sounds cheesy, right?

In any case, I have so much to think about and even money is another problem. So this free app is a big help since it’s free and I don’t need to pay anything. But I’m paying for other games like The Walking Dead… and Fran Bow. I’m enjoying it so that’s okay. It relieves stress.

Hey, it’s not too late to join me in this routine exercise! C’mon!

always the Odd one,

Bronte

Posted in Some Odd Thinking

Orange turned Red. Pfft.

Okay.

If you remembered what I said about my other blog post the other day that I’m gonna change my hair color, right?

It’s suppose to be Orange… but since I didn’t bleach my hair, it turned out red.

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So, this is me. Haha.

It turned out alright. I love it actually.

But I’m trying to make it blonde… then grey. until I make it as grey and green.

I just hope that my target goal will come true. I never had a different color, other than red and violet. Haha.

Let’s go and let’s do something crazy!

always the Odd one,

Bronte